Wikileaks: Hating Ahmadinejad Promotes Sound Ecology http://mrzine.monthlyreview.org/2012/day051112.html

Washington, DC -- The rogue news source Wikileaks has released four years of confidential emails consisting of some 50,000 interchanges between President Barack Obama and representatives of various Western governments.  According to the main thread, world leaders -- depressed that nine countries already possess about 22,000 nuclear weapons capable at any moment of creating global Armageddon -- decided to distract themselves and everybody else with inane quandaries over whether Iran is about to make a nuclear bomb.

"OMG guys," writes the newly elected President Obama in an email dated January 26, 2009, "the American people have suffered so much from this economy.  How can I tell them that, given the unstable world situation, they should *also* worry about thermonuclear war -- not to mention nuclear waste disposal, power plant radiation leaks, climate change, global warming, and the death of the Earth as we've known it? :( :( :( " An as yet unidentified UN ambassador responds: "Just do as ourgouvernement does when it is tired of defending its anti-Islamic ban on face-veils.  We accuse Iran of lying about its uranium enrichment and reprocessing activities.  Le LOL!"A transcript of the ensuing discussion follows: Prez@whitehouse.gov: But Iran signed the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty.  Shouldn't we worry more about Pakistan, India, and Israel?  They never signed."Bibi@netanyahoo.com: So what?  A barbaric country like Iran cannot be permitted to nuke civilized, freedom-loving countries, like us.  Whereas, a civilized country nuking barbaric dictatorships protects our Freedom.Prez@whitehouse.gov: "Like when the U.S. nuked Japan?"Frenchdude@UN.org: Allons, boys.  Let us displace our fear of planetary extinction with the evil of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.  Getting people to fear and hate him like he was Dracula will save the Earth.Prez@whitehouse.gov: Yeah, well, I sure hate Dracula.  vv <-- .="." angs="angs" em="em" get="get" it="it" nbsp="nbsp">

While the State Department expressed outrage at this unprecedented revelation of sensitive communiqués, much of the general public, for some reason, continues to fear and hate Iran's President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

"Thanks to that fascist Iranian vampire, we're way calmer than if our news media were headlining nuclear dangers in our own backyard," said Bernie Blackout, vice-president of New Yorkers for Surviving Late Capitalism.  "Dangers like those 16 nuclear power plants in the path of Hurricane Sandy?"